01/02/11: Noticing Changes

Yesterday's food:

01/01/11: Bed at 2 am/up at 8:30 am

Nightfood bar (x 2) (very early am)

Skim milk (1/2 c)

Plain yogurt w/ Polaner jam (very early am)

Coffee w/ creamer

Apple

Egg white

Shrimp (x 2)

Ezekial English muffin w/ butter & Polaner jam

*McDonald/s Bacon Ranch Salad (no chicken) w/ ranch dressing

Pop Secret Microwave popcorn (x 1 snack bag)

Swiss steak

Sweet potatoes

Tea w/ creamer

Water (x 4 c including tea)

Nightfood bar

Skim milk (1/2 c)

Today was a good day. With all of my health issues, plus usually being fogged-out and disconnected from my own body, as well as from God, I'm really grateful to have just a normal day. I don't need my usual "excitement" of hospital admissions for falls, surgeries, lupus flares, medication allergies; "boring" is just fine with me these days, LOL.

It was especially good because this was my second (successful) day of my experiment, and I slept pretty well and was able to wake up in time for church without feeling too hungover from sugar and my sleeping meds. I was eager to go to Bible study this morning and didn't get all yawny before the regular service began, so I definitely felt a slight increase in my morning energy.

Speaking of which, here are my hopes (trying not to let them become expectations) on the physical front as a result of my experiment:

• Increased energy
• Decreased irritability
• Decreased weight (although that's not the end goal here)
• Decreased arthritic pain
• Increased quality of sleep
• Decreased incidence of GERD

I'll probably be somewhat consumed with the physical changes because they should be the first ones I'll notice. As my physical self becomes more stabilized (and happy), I'm imagining that the spiritual changes will pour forth.

Stick around to find out, won't you?

01/01/11: Getting Into the God Groove

Yesterday's food:

12/31/10: Bed at 10:30 pm/up at 6:45 am

*Fudge (1” square)

*+Cookie (x 1)

Egg white

Apple

Tea w/creamer

Kashi cereal

*+Applebee’s Oriental Salad (1/2) w/ dressing

*Sombrero (Kahlua and cream)

*Ice cream shooter (at Applebee’s; 2 T)

*Haagen Dazs ice cream (1 c)

As you can see, I whooped it up sugar-wise for my last night before abstaining for the year. As of 12:01 am this morning, I'm happy to say that I munched sugar-freely on two Nightfood bars (allowable) and some plain yogurt with Polaner All-Fruit jam before proceeding to stay up until 3 am, just right after composing my previous blog post about the importance of adhering to my sleep/wake schedule in terms of sugar intake, LOL. Still, I managed to wake up at 8:30 am, which isn't too shabby, so I could have a fairly good start to the first day of my experiment.

In keeping with my overall goal (see blog title), I arranged rides to get to adult Sunday school and the regular service (it's a long story involving a "double-layer" handicap and having a "travel" wheelchair instead of a regular one.) I'm experimenting with various forms of conscious contact with God, and adult Sunday school is one that I don't pursue very often, so I thought I'd do something different this year. For this experiment to work and to have any meaning at all, I have to do the seeking as I eliminate sugar, or the only thing I'll end up with is a very crabby, willful self who is back to her maniacal ways of eating. If nothing changes, nothing changes.

What else do I do to seek a connection with God? On really good days, this is what my morning looks like (the goal this year is to have more and more of them, regardless of the outcome):

• I pray even before I lift my head from the pillow
• I journal a letter to God that's at least two pages long (double-spaced), sometimes more
• I pray for the people on my church's prayer chain as well as certain friends and family
• I turn my will and my life over to the care of God and ask Him to show me His will for the day
• I read from various publications (see "Favorite Ways to Get Into the God Groove" on the right sidebar)
• Sometimes I practice my transcendental meditation (more on this in a later post) (Note: I'd like to do this more often)
• I get on with my day

It's an immensely grounding and peaceful ritual that I've been blowing off for the past few months, and I can really feel it. So, I am to get back in the God groove by reinstating my usual forms of connecting and perhaps developing  few more.

Hope to see you tomorrow.

12/31/10: A Woman on the Verge . . .

Yesterday’s food:

12/30/10: Bed at  2 am*/up at 9 am

Kashi cereal w/ skim milk

Egg white

Water (x 4 c)

McDonalds Mushroom Swiss Angus Snack Wrap

*+Cookie (x 2)

*+Chocolate-covered pretzel (x 1)

*Hershey’s Kiss (x 2)

Tea w/ creamer

*McDonald’s Bacon Ranch salad (no chicken) w/ dressing

Pop Secret microwave popcorn (1 snack bag)

Nightfood bar (x 2)

Skim milk (1/2 c)

I purposely waited until late to write today's post because I want to be awake when I cross over into the land of commitment to not eating white sugar or white flour for an entire year. At this point I'm wondering what the hell have I done, but I'm feeling strong despite my slightly cold feet. But I trust myself to be able to do this, and I trust that God is walking alongside of me, championing me on. I'm so freaking happy that He loves me in spite of myself!

I'll take a moment to explain my coding on my food lists (I'm a compulsive editor, and you're lucky I haven't color-coded this whole thing!):

• An asterisk (*) means that an item I ate in 2010 contained sugar (you won't see any of these in 2011).
• A plus sign (+) means that an item I ate in 2010 contained flour (you won't see any of these in 2011).
• The "to bed" and "up at" designations mean . . . 

I have post-menopausal insomnia. Complete and seemingly irrevocable inability to fall asleep and lack of ability to go back to sleep one awakened. No one tells you about that charming possibility when you're wandering out of the cave called "menopause," mainly because it's not as sensationalistic as hot flashes are. Well, it is if you're the one going through it (and I had the flashes, too, but they're gone now, thank God). Anyway, I'm under the care of a sleep specialist whose approach involves medication while fine-tuning the circadian rhythms; hence the sleep/wake times. Well, it might not seem so "hence" to you. I found out, only because I have been fairly non-compliant with the schedule, that if I don't stick to it, I wake up tired and hungry and eat sugar and flour all day long! So, in order to be successful with this project, it's important for me to stick pretty much to the schedule. Ir's boring, but I want a better life, so I'm going to do it.

I should be hearing New Year banging and rocket-launching and all manner of cacophony right about now, so I'll sign off by saying that I wish everyone reading this a happy, healthy, prosperous, and blessed New Year!

Thanks for letting me be transparent with you . . .