Sunday, April 10, 2011

April 10, 2010: Peep Seduction/Sabbatarian Report

Yesterday's food:
04/09/11 Bed at 10:30 pm/up at 6:30 am
God time? Yes
[P] Egg white
[P] Swiss steak
[V] Mushrooms (McDonald’s Angus Snack Wrap)
[V] Tomatoes and celery
[V] X
[F] Apple
[F] Pineapple (in Jell-O salad)
[F] X
[St] +Tortilla (McDonald’s Angus Snack Wrap)
[St] Brown rice
[D] Sour cream (in Jell-O salad)
[D] Cheese (McDonald’s Angus Snack Wrap)
[Sn] Mi-Del GF ginger cookies (x 5)
[Sn] *PEEPS (x 12)!
[Nightfood bar]
[W] Two cups

Howdy, everyone! Since I am writing this on a Sunday, you can guess that my Sabbitarian experiment has been less than successful. I'll tell you about that later. First, I must confess that I lusted after a Peep. "Peeps" to be exact. I willingly hunted them down at a local Rite-Aid, lured by their bright, artificial colors and the crunch of sugar giving way to mouth-pillows of marshmallow goodness. Yup, I still have a good case of insanity (and just testing to make sure it's there): Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. My body hasn't suffered too much in the way of bad results--unlike the past two weeks I slipped. I had a slightly greater degree of pain while walking to the car today, but the damage to my self-esteem goes deeper: I want to honor God with my body, keeping my "temple" as clean and healthy as possible, and yet I don't. Or, rather, I don't do so regularly and consistently. It's pretty bad when your idea of living on the edge is eating 12 Peep bunnies, but that's where the Lord has me just for today.

On another note, the first two Sundays of the Sabbatarian experiment went well. The computer and other electronics remained turned off; my chores and editing commitments had been met; I sought His presence as I usually do; I felt connected with Him as I sometimes do and sometimes don't; and I felt grounded and present in my body --  my head, my heart, and my feet together in the same place at the same time -- I was grateful for all the gifts He has blessed me with. The first two Sundays were what I had imagined a Sabbath would be like.

I eventually eroded that good experience through my sinful and self-indulgent nature. The main temptation I was not strong enough to overcome, although I prayed on it, was the computer. The third Sunday I went on the computer in the early afternoon. The fourth Sunday I skipped Bible study and church so I could commune with my beloved Dell. Food and my computer: Those are often my idols, I am ashamed to admit. 

However, a seed has been planted during this experiment, and the Sabbath is something I may explore again when I am spiritually more mature. For now, my almost-daily time with God -- journaling, praying, Bible-reading, church- and Bible study-going, Al-Anon attendance, frequent discussions directly with God and indirectly, with friends, about God -- is just about all the godliness I can wrap myself around right now. I work at cultivating and attitude of gratitude, so I thank and praise God throughout the day, no matter what the situation and how I feel about it, and I think God is pleased with that. And He keeps drawing me closer, even in failed experiments, and I'm pleased with that!

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