I am experimenting with eliminating white sugar and flour in 2011 to develop a closer relationship with my Higher Power, whom I choose to call "God," as well as to improve the pain level in my body. My goal is to replace my sugar/flour addiction with more frequent conscious contact with God so that I can better discern His will for me!
I'm trying really hard tonight not to give up, beat myself up, and sabotage my weight loss. The whole last week was incredibly hard for me, and I used a few days of non-abstinence as an excuse to take the entire weekend off. Went back to my old grazing/binging habits. I'm scared of how easily it came back to me, but I'm not surprised by it. Now, when I had been feeling safe with the Weight Watchers plan, I feel like a bad dream waiting to happen. I'm not going to whine in your ear, but if you'd keep me in your prayers I would appreciate it. There's nothing for me to do except go straight back to the First Step and admit my powerlessness over food. Again <le sigh>. My devilish addiction is so freaking boring and annoying and ever-ready to pounce when I'm weak. I'm not going to listen to the little Pillsbury dough boy who runes around in my head saying, "Go ahead! Eat! You've f-ed it up this far; might as well throw the towel in and call it a life."I HATE that measly little dough boy but I'd better learn to live with him since he's part of me.
I just dawned on me, when looking at my food from yesterday, trying to see where I went wrong (yesterday was supposed to be the day I "got back on track"), that I didn't have a proper amount of protein, and I've also been eating some straight sugar again. I've been told that inadequate protein intake, combined with excessive consumption of sugar, can set one up for a bad food day. Note to self: Don't skimp on protein.
I went from snacking on the sugar-free Klondike bars, which are a cookie-type sandwich, to snacking on the 100-calorie (sugared) Klondike bars, which have that crunchy chocolate coating. Now I like my chocolate cold anyway, so this has been a real set-up for me. There is something different about pure sugar, compared with fake sugar, that does trigger me in way that sugar-free foods don't. I need to respect, shake the dust off my feet, and get back on the wagon before I do any more damage. Sigh. I love that crunchy chocolate coating . . .