02/12/11: My Calm Gets Tested

Two (non-consecutive) days' worth of food:

02/07/11 Bed at 10:30 pm/up at 9:30 am

God time? Yes

Exercise? Yes

[P] Steak

[P] Beans in chili

[V] Broccoli

[V] Tomatoes in chili

[V] X

[F] Apple

[F] X

[F] X

[St] Kashi

[St] Cornbread (x 3 small pieces)

[St] Beans in chili

[D] Skim milk

[D] Skim milk

[Sn] Nightfood bar

[Sn] Nightfood bar

[Nightfood bar] Yes

[W] Five cups (including tea w/ creamer)

02/06/11 Bed at 10:30 pm/up at 6:45 am

God time? Yes (church and Bible study)

[P] Egg white

[P] Steak

[P] Salami

[V] Green beans

[V] Salad

[V] Salad

[F] Apple

[F] Polaner All Fruit

[F] Apple

[St] Ezekiel English muffin

[St] +Fried mozzarella sticks

[St] +Corn bread

[D] Fried mozzarella sticks

[D] Skim milk

[D] Skim milk

[Sn] Nightfood bar

[Sn] *Milkyway bar

[PURE SUGAR] *Ginger ale

[Nightfood bar] Yes

[W] Two cups (including tea with creamer)

Well, I got really thrown off track over the last four to five days or so. A truckload of work came in over the past few days (good eustress), and I have to prep it even before I start editing it (I'm a freelance medical editor). Then I had to write my contact in India to let him know I wouldn't be able to meet the turnaround deadline. He extended it for me, which I take as a vote of confidence in my medical editorial skills :-) I'm very grateful that my work has not suffered for the economy's ups and downs.

Then I had a health insurance whammy, right upside the head! Every October I get a letter from my insurance broker telling me that my self-pay premium has gone up (of course) and giving me the option to choose another plan. Because of my multitude of health issues, I just always stay with the same plan, so I don't usually send the letter back, knowing that it will default to the plan I've had for years.

Well, shame of me for not reading the letter because my particular plan was obliterated because of the new health care reform, and I was switched over to a new default plan, which has copay for tests I've never had copays for and has way higher copays for the innumerable drugs I take. So, now that I've pretty much stopped going to therapy and thought I would have some extra money for the month, it's going to get sucked up by high copays for monthly medication. Ugh. I know I shouldn't complain because I do have health insurance, but it's a bitch to have to shell out more than $1,000.00 per month for my premium and then get socked by higher copays. It costs a lot to be self-employed. Think of that when you're ready to walk out on your office job because it sucks so much!

I think I'm freaking out about it less than usual because I'm much calmer now that I've been either off sugar or low-sugar for a while. And my relationship with my Higher Power is much stronger. As sappy as it sounds, I do try to look at circumstances as blessings from God, even it they're to teach me a lesson that I might not particularly want to learn. Don't get me wrong. I still crudely curse God out from time to time, but my spirit is much more malleable -- more accepting and less rebellious -- than it use to be. And that in itself is a gift.

See you tomorrow. I promise.