June 21, 2011: Hafway-Point Inventory

Yesterday's food:

God time? Yes

Exercise?No

Points: 35/36

[P] Chicken sausage

[P] Steak

[V] Broccoli

[V] Mixed veggies

[V or F] Apple

[F] Banana
[F] Pineapple

[St] Kashi

[St] Sweet potato fries

[D] Skim milk

[D] Skin milk

[Sn] SF Klondike ice cream sandwich 
[Sn] SF Klondike ice cream sandwich 
[Nightfood bar] Yes
[W] Four cups

Woot! A perfect Weight Watcher day: Yesterday I was within my point range and filled all of my macronutrient categories :-) It feels good to be "on the wagon," but it feels good to fall off, too. They've said at WW meetings that the most fattening thing is guilt, i.e., I slip and then say to myself, "F**k it; I might as well let the whole day go to pot and eat all I want." In Al-Anon they say that you can start your day over anytime. I would love to be able to get to the point where I could enjoy a food slip, especially a planned one, without beating myself up for it. I don't whip myself too badly, but I still don't really dig in my heels and enjoy it. However, my weekly binge seems to have become a whole bag of mini marshmallows. They don't do a lot of damage point-wise, and I love their pillowy texture and soft sweetness on my tongue :-) OK, enough of that. I don't let myself eat them until the weekend, so there's no sense in torturing myself.

On another note, I think it's time to inventory my progress, both food-wise and spiritually, since I'm about at the halfway mark from starting my experiment:

1. I never thought I'd get this far, and I don't think anyone ever reads my blog (they just land on it by accident and then leave), but it's been a good self-disciplining experience for me to write it anyway. So, blogging in itself has produced growth in me.

2. I finally decided to ask for help with my compulsive eating in the form of joining Weight Watchers, and I've lost 4.6 pounds as of 3 weeks ago. For the first time in a long while, I feel like I am in control of my eating. I feel nourished and safe, and I'm trimming some weight while I do it. Even if I had just been on a maintenance plan, it would have been worth it to join just for the safe-feeling factor. I've been swimming/doing PT exercises 4 to 5 days out of the week. I tried reflexology to help the pain in my foot, which it has (but not completely). I feel that my moods are more even now that I'm controlling my sugar intake better. And I've been attending diabetes classes on the advice of my doctor (I'm pre-diabetic). So in general, I'm taking way better care of my whole-body health, not just the parts that are in pain :-) I'm getting better at the Biblical body-as-temple thing.

3. True, I haven't blogged every day as I thought I would in the beginning, but I have posted 75 times in approximately 6 months (average 12.5 posts/month), and I've had 1137 hits during the same time period, which averages out to 189.5 hits/day! Not bad for an introvert, huh? However, I still wish I had more followers (I'm looking at you, random reader).

4. After attending Bible study about three quarters of the year so far, I have started my personal inductive Bible study. I made the decision to tithe this year and have followed through on that. I re-started practicing transcendental meditation, which is a good discipline for clearing myself so I can hear God's will for my life. I did a two-part workshop for the youth at church that was well-received. I'm planting seeds for starting a recovery Bible study as well as an Al-Anon group at my church. I've been a deacon since the beginning of the year, and I've volunteered to help rewrite and refocus the church's mission statement. I'm getting messages from my Higher Power to possibly write a Bible-based recovery daily reader. All in all, I feel more open to and on track with God since I started the year. I know that's super-subjective, but my whole inner experience is subjective, and my basic thought is that I'm producing good fruit, so I must be better connected with God (as I had postulated earlier)!

So, how do you think I'm doing at this halfway point?