Thursday, January 6, 2011

01/06/11: My Mind Is Blank

Yesterday's (and the day before's) food:

01/05/11: Bed at 10:30 pm/up at 9:00 am
Tea w/ creamer (x 2)
Egg white
Kashi w/ skin milk
Brown rice
Corn & veggie mix
Chicken w/ veggies
*Gumballs (x 17)
Nightfood bar (x 3)
Skim milk (1/2 c)
Water (5 c)

01/04/11: Bed at 5:30 am/up at 12:00 pm
Walnuts and dried cherries (early am)
Diet ginger ale (early am)
Fruit cocktail w/ natural juice (early am)
Brown rice
Corn & veggie mix
Walnuts & dried cherries
Kashi w/ skim milk
Stuffed cabbage
Water (2 c)

I apologize for not writing yesterday. I was hoping for a "perfect" run with daily blogging, but I should know better by now, LOL. The only thing I can be is perfectly imperfect. Only God is perfect. Just so you know, I was taking care of myself by not writing.

I was telling someone today that my mind has been unusually blank when it comes time to write a blog post. She said, "Well, why not write about that?" It reminds me of when I was early in my therapy career. My therapist at hat time was Tom Sexton (ironically, I ended up working with him later on when I was a drug and alcohol counselor at Mirmont Rehab), and he taught me the Great Fake-Out (my name for it, not his). He had asked me something important about my inner thoughts, to which I replied, "I don't know." Then 
He asked me really fast, "What would you say if you did know?" And out it popped, an answer that was crucial to my process at the time. I still use that on myself when I feel stuck about something going on internally. It doesn't always work, but it often does :-)

So, I have been blanking out when it comes time to write here. Now my mind is usually never blank. I'm a pretty deep thinker and like synthesizing and filtering down ideas, respectively, to either create new ones or to get down to the heart of a particular one. But it seems like cutting out the white sugar and flour may be changing that in preparation for me to have a new way of thinking. I like my mind as it is now, but I'm willing to be changed by God. And that's what this whole shebang is about after all!

On another note, I tried a gluten-free cookie today that was sweetened with molasses. I did have some hesitation in thinking that it might lead me to crave, but it didn't (at least not today). Tomorrow is food-shopping day, so I'll be faced with lots of temptation. Wish me luck, will you?

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