Yesterday's food:
01/03/11: Bed at 2:00 am/up at 12: 00 pm
*Ice cream (2 T) (early am)
*Lorna Doon cookies (x 2 snack bags; early am) and skim milk (early am)
Kashi cereal w/ skim milk (early am)
Yogurt w/ Polaner All Fruit (early am)
Coffee w/ creamer
Egg white
Brown rice
Corn & veggie mix
Apple
Swiss steak
Broccoli salad
Water (2 c)
Here's what I was talking about in yesterday's post. I didn't eat a lot of sugar yesterday, but nevertheless it breached the commitment I made to myself to abstain from white sugar and white flour. I was really disappointed in my choice to give in to cravings, but I did forgive myself and climb back on the wagon.
I'm actually quite proud of myself (and grateful for God's help) that although I was up all night again last night, I didn't eat a speck of white sugar (didn't even crave it), which shows you the cunning nature of sugar (or any) addiction. A year or two ago, it could have fooled me into thinking, "Oh, I don't really have a problem. I have this under control."
But sugar addiction is a liar and a trickster, and I am starting to recognize that and respond accordingly. For me, it's about acting, not reacting. I've used sugar for such a long time to quiet anger, anxiety, and fear and to celebrate happiness. But now I need to break that hand-to-mouth action and start making different choices to deal with my feelings (and I have quite a few in my arsenal; it just seems easier to eat the sugar). Sugar is a close companion of mine, but it's not a good friend at all. I need to fire it.
See you tomorrow, I hope.
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