Tuesday, January 11, 2011

01/11/11: Tolerating Feeling Good

Yesterday's food (and the day before):

01/10/11: Bed at 10:30 pm/up at 4:30 am
God time? No
Kashi cereal w/ skim milk (x 2)
Tea w/ creamer
Egg white
Kozy Shack SF tapioca pudding (x 2)
*McDonald’s Bacon Ranch Salad w/ grilled chicken and dressing
Pop Secret popcorn (x 1 snack bag)
Veggies w/ feta cheese
Brown rice
Nightfood bar (x 2)
Skim milk (1/2 c)

01/09/11: Bed at  5:00 am/up at 3:00 pm
God time? No
Pamela’s Gluten-Free Shortbread Cookies (agave; x 4)
Cozy Shack SF tapioca pudding
Water (3 c)
Broccoli salad
Skim milk (1/2 c)

Currently I'm making my way through the book of Matthew and trying to absorb its lessons for me. Thank God my Bible has good notes because the meaning of a lot of it eludes me. Why did Jesus have to speak in parables all the time? Why not be direct? It seems to have been something about sorting the believers (and thus interested in learning about The Way) from the disinterested. Well, I'm interested but still would prefer something more direct, LOL :-)

I'm still liking Ed Underwood's blog (much more religiously erudite than mine), so tonight it will earn a spot on my "Blogs I Follow" list to the right. I want to follow his outline for journaling with a spiritual focus. I'll let you know how it goes.

I'm struggling with recovering from the couple of really late nights I had last week, and my body is in a state of disequilibrium: I'm having a hard time waking up even though I've gone back to my sleep schedule.  Either that or I need less sleep medication than I have needed since 2006, which would be really great. However, I hesitate to attribute the latter to the relatively sugar-free life I've been living because it hasn't been long enough to establish a pattern (at least not in my experience).

The problem I'm having is common in addiction recovery: tolerating, and even courting, feeling good. Sounds counter intuitive, but if you feel addiction-bad all the time, you get used to it, and feeling good actually hurts or at least creates a lot of anxiety. So, my prayer of late has been to be able to tolerate feeling good so that I don't sabotage my quest to have a closer relationship with God.

As my Swiss relatives used to say, shlaf gut!

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