12/31/10: A Woman on the Verge . . .

Yesterday’s food:

12/30/10: Bed at  2 am*/up at 9 am

Kashi cereal w/ skim milk

Egg white

Water (x 4 c)

McDonalds Mushroom Swiss Angus Snack Wrap

*+Cookie (x 2)

*+Chocolate-covered pretzel (x 1)

*Hershey’s Kiss (x 2)

Tea w/ creamer

*McDonald’s Bacon Ranch salad (no chicken) w/ dressing

Pop Secret microwave popcorn (1 snack bag)

Nightfood bar (x 2)

Skim milk (1/2 c)

I purposely waited until late to write today's post because I want to be awake when I cross over into the land of commitment to not eating white sugar or white flour for an entire year. At this point I'm wondering what the hell have I done, but I'm feeling strong despite my slightly cold feet. But I trust myself to be able to do this, and I trust that God is walking alongside of me, championing me on. I'm so freaking happy that He loves me in spite of myself!

I'll take a moment to explain my coding on my food lists (I'm a compulsive editor, and you're lucky I haven't color-coded this whole thing!):

• An asterisk (*) means that an item I ate in 2010 contained sugar (you won't see any of these in 2011).
• A plus sign (+) means that an item I ate in 2010 contained flour (you won't see any of these in 2011).
• The "to bed" and "up at" designations mean . . . 

I have post-menopausal insomnia. Complete and seemingly irrevocable inability to fall asleep and lack of ability to go back to sleep one awakened. No one tells you about that charming possibility when you're wandering out of the cave called "menopause," mainly because it's not as sensationalistic as hot flashes are. Well, it is if you're the one going through it (and I had the flashes, too, but they're gone now, thank God). Anyway, I'm under the care of a sleep specialist whose approach involves medication while fine-tuning the circadian rhythms; hence the sleep/wake times. Well, it might not seem so "hence" to you. I found out, only because I have been fairly non-compliant with the schedule, that if I don't stick to it, I wake up tired and hungry and eat sugar and flour all day long! So, in order to be successful with this project, it's important for me to stick pretty much to the schedule. Ir's boring, but I want a better life, so I'm going to do it.

I should be hearing New Year banging and rocket-launching and all manner of cacophony right about now, so I'll sign off by saying that I wish everyone reading this a happy, healthy, prosperous, and blessed New Year!

Thanks for letting me be transparent with you . . .